The Birthday Syndrome
by DetectiveMinerva
Summary: To snap Jay out of his post-Laura funk, Kay decides to give him a birthday surprise he'll never forget. The day is threatened, however, when Kay comes down with a cold of alien proportions. Post-MIB2, inspired by Disney's Frozen Fever.


I've been a fan of the _Men In Black_ movies for years, but I've never written a story for the fandom... until now. In this tale, set shortly after the events of MIB2, Jay is still down in the dumps about Laura leaving. Kay decides to cheer him up by giving him a very unexpected birthday surprise - until Kay comes down with a very unusual cold. Inspired by _Frozen Fever_ and its song "Making Today a Perfect Day" (I know, I know, but stranger things have happened), this is a fun snapshot of the brotherly love between Jay and Kay.

* * *

 _How do you solve a problem like an agent... who's moping?_

Not that Kay blamed his partner. Life as a member of the highly-secret Men in Black could get very lonely, and letting someone get too close was always risky in their profession. He knew, because he'd been there, done that, and gotten the T-shirt. And it did hurt - like a thousand knives. But, you had to find a way to heal and move on. Kay's method of dealing? Coffee. Lots of it. That, and keeping his feelings buried deep inside himself, throwing up a curt, no-nonsense, take-no-crap-from-anyone-human-or-alien front. That persona, unsurprisingly, had earned him both respect and a reputation as an ice king. Only two people ever saw the softness that Kay tried to hide: Zed, and the man sitting next to him at the diner counter.

It had been Jay's idea for them to get some pie (Jay's go-to snack) and coffee (Kay's single addiction). "Little pick-me-up after all this wig-splittin' we been doin' lately," he'd said. Though looking at him now, the kid could sure as heck use more than a _little_ pick-me-up. Ever since Laura returned to Zartha, Jay had looked more like Galveston after the hurricane of 1900. Nothing could snap him out of his funk, despite his claims that he was fine.

That didn't stop Kay from trying, though. He'd never in a million years let Jay get wise to the fact that he enjoyed the heck out of their bantering and bickering - that was a major no-no. Truth was, he liked yanking Jay's chain, every bit as much as Jay liked pulling his. Sure enough, today was a good day to give the chain a good hard jerking.

Kay could feel Jay tensing up as the elder of the partners perused his menu. This was a little trick Kay loved to play every time they went to the diner: staring at the menu for what seemed an infinity and asking about the specials at least twice, while Jay swelled like a horned toad. Jay loved getting a rise out of him by quipping about his age, his car, his taste in music, and Lord knew what else, so Kay simply returned the favor by poking at his partner's (limited) stock of patience.

"You tryin' to memorize that thing or what?"

 _Ah-ha._ Kay grinned internally. The first prick of the needle. "Just investigating my options."

"Investigating? Man, you been _investigatin'_ that menu so long, I'm amazed my hair ain't gone white. What's so different about it this time?"

"Nothing."

"Then _order somethin',_ Kay! Old as you are, you can't afford to wait much longer!"

"Says the rookie who discharged a Noisy Cricket in broad daylight without waiting to think first." Kay's eyes shifted to Jay, who was, of course, scowling. "Still finding glass back there?"

Jay's scowl morphed into a glare, and Kay fought to keep his lips from twitching. Jay hated being ribbed about their first major mission five years ago, when he'd fired off the Noisy Cricket in plain view of a busy New York street. Without realizing the tiny weapon had a kick like a mule, Jay had been blasted backwards and butt-planted into the windshield of a parked car. Miraculously, he hadn't been injured - his pride took the beating that day - but Kay took private delight in teasing him about it now and then. Normally, Jay would come back at him with one of his trademark zingers, but today... "Just order your dumb pie, Kay. I ain't in the mood to fart around wit' you today."

Wouldn't you know it, the waitress chose that very moment to reappear at their table. "Have you made your decision, gentlemen?"

Out of habit, Jay answered first. "I'll have the Oreo peanut butter, extra whipped cream." He gave Kay a death glare that said _order NOW or Imma fry your butt._

Okay, no more picking. "I'll have the Dutch apple crumb with a piece of cheddar on the side." Kay glanced at his seething partner and returned his gaze to the waitress. "And a pot of coffee for the table."

"Regular or decaf?"

Kay snuck another look at Jay. "Regular. Plenty of cream and sugar with it, please."

Not much could snap Jay out of an angry funk quickly, but his partner breaking routine would do it in a pinch. "Okay, what gives? You are the freakin' king of decaf coffee, and you order a pot of solid caffeine? You feelin' all right, Kay?"

"Never felt better. You're the one who's got the personality of a wet hornet. I thought maybe some caffeine and sugar might make you a little sweeter."

"Whoa, whoa, back up. _You're_ tellin' _me_ I need to be sweeter? That's like a bug callin' a Kylothian out on their crap. Since when have you ever been sweet?"

"I'm just trying to be nice, Slick. If you want me to be a grouch, I can arrange it."

Jay's mouth twitched slightly. "How's that any different from your normal personality?" Kay gave him a gentle kick under the table, and finally, Jay chuckled. "I'm sorry, Kay. I appreciate it, man; really, I do. I know how much you hate caffeinated coffee."

Kay allowed himself a half-smile. "I got a grin and a chuckle out of you, when you've been throwing yourself a pity party for the last few weeks. That's worth sacrificing my comfort for a day."

"Don't get mushy on me, Kay," Jay griped, although his grin said he was thoroughly enjoying this rare display of brotherly love. "It ain't in character for you, showin' your mushy side."

"I happen to be a man of many sides, kid. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an ice king 100 percent of the time."

"Naw. Just 99 percent."

"Shut up."

That got another chuckle out of Jay as the waitress returned with their pie, two mugs, a dish loaded with half-and-half and augar packets, and a steaming carafe of coffee that smelled up the entire diner. "Man, there's never a dull moment with you. Why is it you're usually the biggest grump on the planet, but you're the only one who can yank me out of a funk?"

Kay poured coffee for himself and his partner. "The universe is full of mysteries, Slick. That is one we'll probably never solve."

"You ain't kidding." Jay loaded his coffee with cream and sugar, then took a healthy swig. "I needed that." He then admired the slab of Oreo peanut butter pie in front of him, slathered with whipped cream and cookie crumbs. "Happy birthday to me," he said, eagerly forking some into his mouth.

The word _birthday_ suddenly caught Kay's attention. _Hey, that's right. Jay's birthday is coming up next week._ Officially, the agents didn't observe their birthdays, since their dates of birth were wiped out upon induction into MIB. However, it was an agency rule that was more often ignored than enforced, and agents still celebrated their birthdays - most likely as a way to hold on to some semblance of normality. Kay had never had a chance to celebrate Jay's birthday. They were partners only too briefly before Kay was neuralyzed, and then five years had passed with Kay living a civilian life. Now, however, there was a chance to make up for lost time. Oh, sure, Jay would think it was "out of character" for Kay, but Kay didn't give a rat's butt. _Talk about a pick-me-up. I'll surprise Jay for his birthday, but how?_

"You know, this reminds me of my fourth birthday."

Again, the word _birthday_ snagged Kay. "How so?"

"It was the first birthday I had since my dad left." Jay's expression grew bittersweet. "It had only been a few weeks since he was gone, and I was a brokenhearted little kid. Mom and my grandma took me out to our local diner for lunch, and as bad as our luck was, they'd sold their last piece of cake. So, we got pie instead." He took another bite and Kay waited for him to finish. Finally, he swallowed and continued. "Good slice of chocolate peanut butter, with plenty of whipped cream."

"Like what you're eating now."

"Yeah, 'cept it didn't have Oreos on it." Jay smiled. "It turned out to be a pretty good birthday after all. When we got home, Mom and Grandma made a scavenger hunt for me. They hid my presents all over the house and the backyard, and I had to go find 'em. I got a lot of good stuff that year, but the real fun was in lookin' for all those gifts. Really took my mind off losin' my dad. Not to mention, years later, I realized just how much Mom and Grandma loved me to do all that for me." Silence fell at the table, with Kay sipping his coffee and Jay playing with the pie on his plate, until the spell suddenly broke. "Hey, we better get to eatin'. Zed'll be wonderin' how come we haven't hauled that Gerblakian jewel thief in to headquarters."

With that, Jay attacked his pie with a vengeance and chased it down with another slug of coffee. Kay, however, left his pie untouched, letting his own coffee fuel his brain. Birthdays, scavenger hunts, pie, and a host of other things were zinging around in there like BBs, and they were starting to form the genesis of a plan. _Maybe caffeine isn't such a bad thing after all, if it can help me get as good an idea as this..._


End file.
